Self-Publishing? Really? You MUST be kidding me...

Almost one month ago, I did something I thought I'd never do...I self-published.  Why?  My reason is quite simple, but requires a little explanation.  So...strap in, 'cause  it's STORY TIME!

Once upon a time, there was a lonely Major stationed in the middle of Alaska on a remote tour (away from his wife & kids for a year) who'd just finished reading a very, very, VERY poorly written paperback book.  As a matter of fact, it plain S-U-C-K-E-D; the writing was tough to follow, what was intended to be scary was silly, and the entire printed mess left a bad taste in the reader's mental mouth.  P'TOOEY!  So, that lonely Major decided right then that if an author like the person who'd written that book could get published, then...so...could...he!  I've got tons of stories in my misshapen noggin, he thought.  Time to start writing!

So, me--the lonely Major--hopped on his creaky Acer Pentium 75 computer at ~11 o'clock PM & started writing the first draft of what would eventually become a first novel--THE COMING.  That was April of 2001.  I finished the novel in late 2002 (700+ double-spaced pages).  The first query letters went out in January 2003.  Rejection letters followed.  As the years went by, about 100 or so found my mailbox.  All writers despise rejections (unless they offer constructive criticism); one special rejection I received was dated the day before I sent my query (which may be proof that Einstein's entire time-space-continuum thing is dead wrong).  I loved that one.  No agent took my bait, except for a nibble from Ms. Ann Collette of the Helen Rees Literary Agency, who showed enough interest to go back-and-forth with me for about two years, critiquing, editing, and offering suggestions...but, never taking me on.  After she misplaced two full manuscripts I'd sent, though, I knew it was time to say thanks for the help and move on.  Ann taught me some valuable lessons about cutting, cutting, cutting, and cutting some more...getting rid of stuff that doesn't need to be in the story.  I cut a LOT from that first novel.  It was bloody.

So.  No agent.  No publishing contract.  NO WAY!  I was so sure in January of 2003 that the first wave of query letters I sent would land an agent and a contract!  I KNEW that within a year (at least) I'd be a published author!  I was MUCH better that the crappy-book-in-Alaska-author-guy!...Right?  Right?  Hmmm...All I heard was crickets.  Damn.

From 2003 to 2009, I wrote in fits & starts, finishing a second novel (THE MENGELE EFFECT), starting two others, & sending out queries for THE COMING when the spirit moved me.  The spirit didn't move me very often, though, and left me alone for almost two years during that timeframe.  I thought I had a couple of good stories on the ramp, and some good ideas for two more in the hanger, but I'd given up on the whole get-an-agent thaaang.

Then, through a friend at work (whose wife is a terrific writer--Kim Stokely), I discovered the Nebraska Writers Workshop & went to a few meetings.  Got a tad bit fired-up about writing.  I decided to enter the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest in 2011, and THE COMING made it all the way to the Quarterfinals round (top 250 of 5,000 entries).  Got a little bit MORE fired up about writing.  But, there was still that can't-get-an-agent thing standing in front of me, making an annoying raspberry noise.  Blech.

I then noticed a post from a Nebraska Writers Workshop member who'd self-published one of her novels through Smashwords (Lisa Kovanda, author of THE HUNT and RECKLESS ABANDON).  I looked at Smashwords, and decided to give it a try.  Very easy.  I've sold a few, too.  Kinda cool.

When I started writing, I thought self-publishing was the epitome of self-indulgence, self-importance, and self-aggrandizing.  Self, self, self...I see a pattern emerging, don't you?  Well...I hate to admit it, but it's true!  There's nothing special about self-publishing, because ANYONE can do it, regardless of talent.  Harsh?  Yep.  I am the pot, I am the kettle.  Koo-koo-ka-choo.

So why did I finally self-publish, you ask?  Simple.  I want to tell a story.  I want someone to read it, and hopefully enjoy it.  I can't do that waiting for an agent to find my submission in a slush pile...I can do that through self-publishing my novels as eBooks.  Will I ever get that agent & publishing contract?  Odds are against me...I won't quit trying, but I'm not going to sit still either!  I will write, I will edit, I will publish eBooks, and I will smile if someone lets me know they like what I've written.  Badda bing, badda boom.

See, I told you it was simple!