THE COMING Quarter-Finals Review Comments

Part of making it to the quarter finals is the opportunity to review what some of the judges are saying after reading the 5,000-word excerpt I sent them when I entered the contest (the first 20-or-so manuscript pages)--I have two reviews posted right now, both of which almost made me fall out of my chair!  Once I clicked on the contest link to read my reviews, it took me a minute to figure out that they were actually talking about MY novel!  Even if this turns out to be as far as I go in the contest, it sure makes me happy!  Here's the reviews:

ABNA Expert Reviewer

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?

Why?
To find out your going to have to read the novel. Since the author did such a bang up job in the set-up, you WANT to read it.
Very economical with the words, getting alot of bang out of just the few pages I've read. The author covers all bases: characterization, setting, and plot/driving in the all runs by his innuendo hint of a supernatural-evil presence.
The hook is solid: story, writing, characters. Although not a fan of supernatural, because of the author's skill at setting-this-up I would be turning pages as fast as the rest of them who breathe life into this genre.

What aspect needs the most work?

The only weakness I can conjecture up, is one without merit/being able to make the unbelievable, believable. This is because the author was in the process of setting the overall presence of Legion; so to believe at this stage is not all in the cards. My biggest concern, is that I generally fall-out of this genre because I just don't join in any leap of faith games.
Still, having played this far, I would continue drawing pages until I folded, or the the author's obvious intelligence & skill of his craft, won me over.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

Very excellent right-out of the gate. Whether the author can maintain the pace, do the 'King Thing' plus deliver a theme that rocks your socks, remains to be seen. But all indicators are blinking green for go.
Looks like this one could be the winner in a field that has alot of competition.

 

ABNA Expert Reviewer

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?

The foreshadowing or things yet to come. From the very beginning of the excerpt, you could tell that there were some apocalyptic overtones of things yet to come.

What aspect needs the most work?

I do not think that there was anything that could be changed.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

I thought that this excerpt was extremely engaging and very suspenseful. There were religious overtones, while it was clearly a thriller. I liked the symbolism of the flies and thought that the way they were woven throughout the story (as foreshadowing) was brilliant on the part of the author. I liked the characters as well as the storyline...there was the growing family whose life ended too soon, the young boy who committed suicide, to the "evil" bank robbers. I would have liked to read more of the story to figure out what is exactly going on. I think that a lot of people will enjoy this as a suspense thriller. I would.